| |
Beyond Empty Nesting
 On our journey through the emptying nest continuum, sometimes we get stuck, unable to risk moving forward. The game, however, continues and eventually ends no matter what. It is completely our decision to remain in one place while the game goes on around us. If you are like me, I knew I wasn't happy stuck in Phase I, but I didn't know how to move forward into a more satisfying place. What propels us to the next phase of our journey? What is impeding our progress? How can we move ourselves forward?
Each phase of the emptying nest journey is separated by a new challenge. It is like hiking on a glacier and encountering crevasses: some are small enough to jump over; others are vast and require lowering ourselves down one side to the bottom and then climbing out the other side. The latter crossing is risky and takes courage. We can spend time sitting on the edge contemplating whether we really want to go down into the crevasse, but the only way to the other side is to swallow hard and take our chances.
So the secret to moving forward on our journey involves risk and resilience.
Well, risk taking was never my strong suit! I would much prefer to stay safely in a
familiar place, even if it was not completely satisfying, rather than risk looking bad,
being wrong, revealing my vulnerabilities, or having people not like me. That was just
too scary! So I stayed stuck for a long time.
Two events propelled me forward: my children moving out and an accident.
With only one almost adult child left at home, I feel my job as mother was virtually
completed. My high school daughter is independent, capable and resourceful. She not
only doesn't need all my energy and attention, she has made it clear that she doesn't
want it either. So fortunately and unfortunately, I felt a space and new found freedom
opening up for me.
The other factor propelling me forward was a serious accident that resulted in
my broken neck. The injury made me realize my mortality: not only is my time ticking
but while I have been sleeping the world is moving ahead. People are involved and
doing the most amazing things! Ordinary people are figuring out how to make things
happen in their lives rather than wallowing in excuses. These people are no more
talented or advantaged than you and I. They are just willing to take some risks and rebound from their setbacks.
Katrina Ogilby lives in Pennsylvania and writes for Beyond Empty Nest.
Back to Camp
 The excitement of going off to summer camp for Family Week with my cousin, Marian, was very exhilarating. Dreams of hiking, boating, bonfires, and whitewater rafting are never things seniors think much about anymore. For the past ten years I have watched my grandchildren go off to camp and have enjoyed the end of the summer camp fires with them. These young children have motivated me many times to go beyond my age and to try new things. Marian's family has a beautiful camp on Salmon Lake in Maine. The lake and sixty acres was, our playground for the week. We got around on golf carts and did hiking trips with the assistance of walking sticks. Falling asleep with the sound of the loons and the smell of pine forest was very easy. The wake up bell and the dining bell became our summons to join in with the many activities. A boat ride on the lake, a talent show at the camp theater, singing around the camp fire and whitewater rafting were all part of going back to camp. As the week drew to the end, we could watch the staff winterize the camp for the season has come to a close. And, I was reminded how I was challenged beyond my expectations which has given me the courage to look beyond my age and still look for growth and knowledge in my life.
Gayle is from New Jersey and has been retired with 10 grandchildren to enjoy.
|
|
Personal Coaching